Monday, 14 December 2009

ADITYA BATURA

HAHAHA.

You made a fucking fool of me.

Then you try and make me feel better by telling me things that I can’t even tell if you mean cuz you lied to me so much.

And then your evidence doesn’t back it up.

I may have hurt you but you went and fucking did a bitch trick on me.

YOU SCOLDED ME about your e-mail? And at the same time I’m your best friend??! HAHAHA.

Behind my back. If I’m not your girlfriend what was the need to hide it? What was the fucking need for that? You wanted to make a fool out of me till JAN!

And I don’t know what you see in her that you don’t see in me. I don’t have weird teeth or a tiny forehead and I know I'm not fucking skinny/thin like her, which I thought you liked. Honestly, you may like her for the person she is but you used to diss how she looked. And you used to volunteer the information. I never had to lead you on. I can tie my hair in two pigtails if you ask me to, too. I’ve done a lot of things you’ve asked me to in fact. SO MANY, HAVE YOU TOLD HER?

You still want little sexual favours? I’m sure you’ll get plenty of that with your new love. You still tell me I'm hot etc etc. You want a future with me? I’m not just gonna wait around till you decide you want me also. 'To you I'm a symbol or a monument, your right of passage to fulfillment, but I’m not yours for the taking'. I have a life to live. And I’m also fucking fucking fucking hurt. IF you really truly cared, you’d have thought about me. Mid-Jan? why wait so long to tell me? So you can have your ”’Best of both worlds” till she’s back from Ravana land?? Once was Divya 4 years ago. It's just happening again. I honestly feel that what I did sucked ass, but this has been really insulting. At least I didn't make anyone else my boyfriend.

3.5 yrs meant nothing to you. I actually felt better a few hours ago before I began thinking. Thanks for clearing my head. Now I'm washing you out of it.

Fuck I’m so fucking numb I don’t know what to feel about you anymore

because oxygen is a drug
01:04

Sunday, 13 December 2009

-

You really made a fool of me.

because oxygen is a drug
18:38

Saturday, 12 December 2009

what is this? Voodoo?

So i'd rather be mute now than talk. It hurts to talk. I'm signing up on a tranny hotline. Enjoy that. If I cough again tonight, I pray the lord my battle to fight. (Against the person who cursed me with this).

I've officially started my 'help people' thing. I helped berry with her TOK essay for 4 hours, kboo with her mass comm behavioural patterns analysis essay. And sacrificed a day of rest. Had some food and caught up with feebs at parkway. Love that girl.

Sang so much with Aranya before my throat gave way. Pls make me better God, singing is the only thing that keeps me up and at it. Music is my radar. My life. Be nice.

I'v

because oxygen is a drug
00:13

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Originality

Hmm, let's copy your entire favourite list of music artists and television shows to impress you when at one point I clearly remember I loved Jordin Sparks and the rest of the mainstream crap. Also, isn't it funny that not one of those bands isn't one that was introduced to me?

I may be talking in riddles. But really, there's a point I make.

I got what I wanted, even if I had to "steal" it. I don't have a big head like she does. Or small chinky eyes. Or weird fair skin. Or fat arms. I'm slim with a small forehead and big eyes. He loves that. She can go to hell. And she won't say anything to him because she knows I was the only one there for him while she fucked up. I made my move. She did nothing. Hence she must suffer. That she knows.

I'm also allergic to everything, including your saliva.

- I'm not bitching but seriously, telling me about someone I love so bluntly? You really can't be all that nice.

I'm not going to bitch, because I have changed. And nobody reads this blog because it is apparently inactive. I am immature and childish for posting this. But I am also hurt and scared.

And possibly a little insulted. And I have to realise that when one loves someone, that person is his/her oasis in his/her desert. And that spot I can't fill anymore it seems. But I'm no less.

I'm just going to go back to being myself and not copying anyone. If you like me, like me for me. Cuz if I know anything for sure right now. I know that I'm myself and not a replica of anyone else.

I don't need to be loved if you don't want to love me. And I will channel my undying and irrevocable love for you onto other good things, like helping people who need it. Because I know I'm of better use to this world than to sit around and mope about someone who won't accept a change in me after this long.

And I will be nice to you girl as long as you respect what we had. Because I'm not a mean person. Or rather, I'm no longer a mean person. I will tolerate.

And the plus point in all this negativity is that I am Maya again.

because oxygen is a drug
11:10

Monday, 7 December 2009

The mind's a cruel thing, it plays tricks on the heart.

I can't do without you, you son of a bitch.

because oxygen is a drug
22:00

Friday, 4 December 2009

Rilo Kiley Rest Of My Life lyrics

there are worse ways for a guy to spend his time
than to sit and think of you
i think i'd marry you
just your smile
leaves me satisfied
though you're not mine
so for the rest of my life
i'm gonna search for someone just like you
and we tend the garden all day long
watching history unfold
and i'd be enough
and you'd be enough
and we'd grow old
so for the rest of my life
i'm gonna search for someone just like you
for the rest of my life
i'm gonna search for someone just like you
yeah, for the rest of my life
i'm gonna search for someone just like you

because oxygen is a drug
19:28

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Finalcy

I'm crumbling and I need you

because oxygen is a drug
15:25