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Stop the Seal Slaughter Maya
Fortified with the gift of gibber, eats anything apart from liver. lives with 2 dogs and a stinky brother and a dad and a mother. and a cracked polystyrene man who just crumbles, yeah crumbles and burns. and she likes radiohead, a lot of metal, jazz, celtic music, a lot of people, 'Johnny The Homicidal Maniac' & 'Bear' & 'Skeleton Key' comics and her two shih tzus - Abby (Abigail) and Kusho. I WANT: Nothing

Society - Eddie Vedder

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[and in that little hollow i go to, to keep the strange pain secret, i find you]
Wednesday 23 July 2008

Bullshit

Yup ain't the world full 'o that!

PSYCHOSOCIAL:

I did my time
And I want out
So abusive, fate
It doesn't cut
The soul
Is not so vibrant
The reckoning
The sickening
Back at you
Subversion
Pseudo-sacred
Pyscho virgin
Go tell your classes
Go dig you grave
Then fill
Your mouth with
All the money
You will save
Sinking in
Getting smaller again
Undone
It has begun
I'm not the only one

And the rain
Will kill us all
If we throw ourselves
Against the wall
But no one else
Can see
The preservation
Of the martyr in me

Psychosocial (6x)

Oh, there are cracks
In the road we lay
From when the devil fell
The secrets have gone mad
This is nothing new
But would we kill it all
Fate was all we had
Who needs another mess
We could start over
Just look me in the eyes
And say I'm wrong
Now there's only emptiness
But I'm missing something
I think we're done
I'm not the only one

Fake and defenseless lie
(Psychosocial)
I tried to tell you first
(Psychosocial)
Your hurtful lies
Are giving out
(Psychosocial)
Can't stop the killing
I can't help
If it's hunting season
Is this what you want
I'm not the only one.

Mag reminded me that escaping into the realm of Slipknot and the fact that they are coming out with a new album, is comforting. What from all the relative fucked-up-ness of real life.

Quoting from Mag and Lin's blog (Lin's post of Thursday 17th July 2008 | 01:37 pm) "Perhaps I just hate conformity.
I hate authority.
And I need a taste of reality.

I think the world is a really nice place. It's just fucking Singapore." (http://physicstys.livejournal.com)

I forgot how to quote oh wow. I am really genii material. But whatever, I feel the EXACT same way seriously.

Apparently my birthday is next friday. I was reminded that my birthday was approaching about 5 days ago and I honestly felt like it was more than a month away before that bout of realisation struck me in the face. Birthdays honestly aren't a big deal. It's not like you remember when you were born and everything and it's not like you had a choice. This day was actually created as ''bath day'' in Victiorian England when the English didn't believe in bathing more than once a year - due to the weather and stuff (but I personally think it was due to a total lack of concern for hygiene - thus the deadly diseases that originated from the country). That's also where the phrase, "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater" originated from because on that very day (known as ''Birthday'') during either Christmas or a day in the summer solstice, the entire family would bathe, using the same water in a bucket (From a well obviously), starting with the man of the family and then the woman, then the children and finally the baby. The baby, being small and infantile would be put right into the bucket that would by then be all murky from the accumulated dirt of the entire year on the rest of the family members and the baby could obviously not be seen in its murkiness so there was always that fear (maybe this is a slight exaggeration but you get the point) of the baby being thrown out with the bathwater. So yeah! Weird pointless historical info I heard from my cousin.

So anyway, I put my name in for this 'Rock It' thing at ITE College East on the 26th and 27th because I found out we can claim 22 CAS hours for going around 11 hours each day for pointless seminars and random games and bonding sessions and stuff. Since it's literally walkable distance from my house, I am DEFINITELY in (and the whole CAS hour thing) - the extent of human greed overwhelms me! Indeed!!

I eat so much now and I always feel vomitty. I feel messed up. But yes, that is life!

Oh and here's a little something something I tried writing and I can't finish it yet again! HERE:

drown me in the flames. push me into the burning mass. i'm made of plastic anyway. no pain befalls my skin. i have no next-of-kin
poke me with the stokes you use, sheer the skin up off my back, my skin was meant to disintegrate, i'm in this shithole of putrid hate.
it wreaks. the ground the damned dirty ground, yes it wreaks.

over-zealous cheeky fucks, teens in hoodies taking drugs, purgatory's great, should be their only fucking fate.



because oxygen is a drug
19:46

Monday 21 July 2008

Indescribable

Seriously, if anyone were to ask me how it is I'm always smiling and how I get over stuff so easily despite my ever-changing rocky temper, I'd have just one answer.

Unconditional, Mind-Blowing Love.

I love you! You are A-Mazing =)

ALWAYS & FOREVER.

Mayaddy.

And Maggie, Aranya and Neha, this goes without saying. I LOVE YOU TOO!!


because oxygen is a drug
20:11

Monday 7 July 2008

First Day of IB - woohoo. Not.

So the first year of my two years of the IB Diploma started today and I can't say today was a good day. Except the teachers were hilarious save 2 of them and the class is infested with new students who look mostly like well, retards (i'm sorry for the bluntness) and I guess that's what made me laugh all day despite supposedly pms-ing - i am surprised how little i got angry today, honestly, being me that too. Well I also reached the conclusion that learning the guitar isn't such a herculean task after all because the fact that there are frets - i.e divisions - you know where to place your fingers, even if it is a bit of a bitch to stretch sometimes. And it's easier for me to say that because I play the violin in 6 different positions and I have to stretch all over the place just by estimating the distance. There is no division given to you. And the chords are simple to memorise. I memorised 7 in half an hour. I am doing this for the sole reason that I love how the guitar sounds and I have always admired people who play it well and since I play one string instrument that is so difficult already, why not try out another one that might be easier? And it is my favourite instrument because of its sound and the fact that it can be played for basically any mood. The violin is more for celtic fiddle or melancholic classics. Both of which are amazing but it's difficult to do jazz on the violin without much practice. And the jazz is pretty much already covered by my saxophone. So yeah, hopefully in a few years, I can add the guitar to my ever-increasing repertoire. That'll eventually make it 4 instruments! And a teeny bit of piano chords to boot thanks to theory of music. So 5? It's the only thing I am properly inclined to do anyway. Well let's just hope IBDPY1 will be a good change from the mundanity of things so far.


because oxygen is a drug
23:44

Friday 4 July 2008

How do you like me NOW?

Domino - Pretty Girls Make Graves

Radar, radar, radar
Searching for innocence
Satisfied, satellite
Where do I fit in?
All mixed up with you
In the right kind of wrong
Radar, radar, radar
Calling out for the truth
What words are most wise
from a bloodthirsty youth?
I have tasted the sweet of your lips
But am I pacified?
No no no no
Heart calls domino
Mi fai pazzo
Radar, radar, radar
How do you like it?
How do you like me now?

I wish I were as cool as Andrea Zollo the lead. And that I had two-toned coloured hair and not the ever-so-common bright-red-and-now-mildly-auburn hair.

The only 'Brill Thrill' I have left to look forward to is the release of 'Psychosocial', which comes out around my birthday. I guess it'll be slightly after but whatever.



because oxygen is a drug
17:24

Thursday 3 July 2008

I wish your body was not so warm to me

So I'm back from the 11 day - 11 night trip. And before I say anything else, I am going to admit that 'The Prune' wasn't so bad after all. She gave me a lift back to Bombay and it was 3 hours in a car with just her and a bored-looking driver and she was actually nice and apart from the fact that I had to control my pee, it was a pleasant drive. Alibagh has some lush scenery. She only said that she doesn't like Singapore because she feels it is too 'plastic' and expensive and added in that over-said lame joke about Singapore being a 'Fine' city. But I honestly cannot deny those facts are true. But it's given my family a good life so I guess I should be happy and not crib about it though I don't plan on studying here for university at all. I am and can be loyal to Singapore (when I'm outside Singapore mostly) seeing as how I have been a citizen for almost exactly 13 years now. (The Indians back home call me a traitor - haha. ha). Yeah so these few days, I've been feeling too knackered to blog. I don't see who the blimming hell reads this anyway. Not even you, Adicakes Smith. It's just my dear Lesbian Lover Maggie Y with the evil twin brother Fred Venus (if you get the joke don't hesitate to let out a belting-ly roaring-ly loud laugh). So I'm done watching the lesbian show 'Sugar Rush'. it was well interesting but honestly an odd choice of a TV Programme for someone who used to think she was homo-phobic. I think I've become a little more tolerant of the idea, not that I'd ever try anything even minutely dyke-ish. So now I'm trying to be a good friend and a good girlfriend. I think the latter is working out fine now. The best it's ever been. But on the friend side I'm getting from bad to worse. I just feel so out of it. I can't explain. But when it comes to standing up for friends, count me in. Well today I actually had a fabulous time. And those who need to know will know why. I love you. More than is humanely comprehendible. And I need to stop dancing to ''Daddy Cool''. Is your Daddeh cool? OH and I am completely going orgasmic on my new MacBook.

A song i used to love almost obsessively.

"Just So You Know" - American Head-Charge

the surface is so cold and worthless
all the things that I have still come from there
so paint your windows in front of my face
when you know damn well theres
no one behind them
I wish your body was not so warm to me
just so you know
all it was was something beautiful
when tides and dreams dont seem so tall at all
its me against the world still Im losing ground
Id kill to taste what it must be like
cause its every one of my empty parts
that you fill now
I wish your body was not so warm to me
just so you know
all it was was something beautiful
when tides and dreams dont seem so tall at all
pause silence
another moment dropped off
left behind and
hanging still
you wont see me
I cant see you
all it was was something beautiful
when tides and dreams dont seem so tall at all


because oxygen is a drug
23:55