we had the same lame dreams
same mundane ambitions
with doctor kens
and hairdresser barbies
and the leprosy-struck-maid
was always frowned upon
we'd stuff a cork in her mouth
tie her to her chair
stuff her mouth with pantyhouse
pull her hair, starve her
and we'd be mean to the kids
with learning disabilities
stuffing their shoes with stones
outside the playhouse
kicking dust in their faces
laughing at their bleeding noses,
skinny-dipping in the sea
eating ice-creams knee-to-knee
mischievous games we devised
made our parents scream
their lungs out.
then we started getting curious
about kissing and love-making
and staying up late nights
talking about boys.
barbies were forgotten,
frocks were thrown away,
left to be eaten by moths
who lived in the closets
fears of the boogey-man
disappeared too quick
and our belief in santa too.
but we remained forever
holding on tight
making a pact
making all sorts of promises
deep into the night.
sleeping side by side
smiling, loving it all,
believing it all.
and then we reach teenhood
and conversations evolve
from snogging to condoms
from future plans to current parties
and a ghost posseses you
and you decide to drop your kiddy friend
and all the dill-hole plans you made with her
and you call her naive
because she embarrasses you
and you become all independent
and your and her joint plans in the past
become your personal plans
and thoughts of sharing an apartment
only with the cutest guy in the class
and you go out into the world
take advantage of your new-found assets
that bulge out from your tiny top
with your make-up and push-up bra in tow
clubs and boys and making noise become
an obsession, an insatiable craving
that you have to fulfill.
and one day if you fall into trouble
that you feel you can't handle
you'll search for answers in the back of your head
and come up with your buddy from the past,
your old best friend.
cuz you know you'll be alright
cuz you have your back-up buddy
to help you through it
so you'll feel better
and well enough........
to be a bitch again.
yours truly,
your back-up buddy, always waiting in the sidelines.
Maya